Forgive and Let Go! Life Goes On!
One of the most difficult things one has to do is to Let Go! of losses or those who have hurt us. It is so incredibly easy to live in the anger, despair and for many- the hate. It is time to heal, grow and EVOLVE through LOVE.
We all have a tendency to live in the past and say things like, “had I only”, “what if…”, or “why couldn’t it be?” I said it all after the murder of my sister, Nicole Brown Simpson in 1994. I was the only one who did not go to the final dinner at Mezzaluna with my family. I was a young 24-year-old girl who had gone to enough dance recitals. I really did not want to go. Had I known it was going to be a final farewell dinner, believe me, I would have gone. I had so much guilt. So much that I stood in my bedroom doorway and said to my mom, “why couldn’t it be me? I don’t have anything, anyone, or any kids. Why couldn’t it be me?” My mom replied, “thank goodness it wasn’t you. All we would have is this empty room.” From that point on, I got it. I understood that life has to go on. I learned that from my mother, who just lost her daughter to the hands of someone else. Life had to go on!
Harboring guilt, resentment, anger, hate, and all the other ugly stuff cannot only destroy your life, but it can bring you sickness and ill health. Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” It can and will age you, give you severe headaches, high blood pressure and many other physical ailments. You may begin to engage in unhealthy behavior in order to avoid it all together. You also could end up living a life of vengeance to get back at the one who hurt you. Could all of this possibly bring you health and joy? No! It will only bring you down and bring you more pain and anguish.
When we forgive, we give ourselves permission to move on. Forgiving someone who has done you wrong does not mean in any way that you must condone their actions, call them, or do lunch. By forgiving someone, you cut the chain that binds you and controls the way you live your life.
Forgiving brings peace and love back into your life. It eases the pain. I recall the day that I forgave the man that killed my sister. I was sitting in the church pew and prayed to God to release me of the pain and anger I had towards him. Immediately, I felt an inner calmness. I had to ask for this forgiveness, so I could go on.
Have you ever been angry at God or your higher power? Did you ever ask, “why?” If you have, you will understand this story. When my friend Troy died, I became horribly angry with God. I could not understand how He could take Troy’s life so early and in such a way. Once I was able to pray, let go and Let God, I was able to find that inner peace again. Forgiving someone, no matter whom it is or what it is, allows us to be empowered and live a life of clarity and abundance.
We all can channel our anger and despair in a positive way. Every experience, positive or negative has a lesson and that lesson is a story. You see, we can always look at a negative experience in a positive light. I can’t bring Nicole back, so why not do something positive. Find Your Positive!
How Do You Let Go and Forgive? You have to have the intention to heal and be happy. Intention plays a very significant role in our health and overall well-being. Visualize the life you want to live. When you have a negative thought, turn it around into something positive. For example, “I can’t go on. The pain is so unbearable.” Turn it around and say, “I will take this pain and hurt and channel it into something productive and useful.”
Giving gratitude also helps heal the soul. Read books from people who have walked in your shoes. Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of Simple Abundance, shares some overlooked blessings. Examples of overlooked blessings include: the kindness of a stranger, good health, imagination, hope, dreams, ACCEPTANCE after STRUGGLE, holding a child, napping, and listening to the rain- just to name a few. My own overlooked blessings were seen while I was sitting in my hospital bed. I gave gratitude for the leaf I saw blowing in the wind and the dog I saw playing in the backyard nearby.
Another way to forgive is to pray to God and say affirmations on a daily basis. Here is an affirmation that Jack Canfield, author of Success Principles shares, “I release myself from all the demands and judgments that have kept me limited. I allow myself to go free – to live in joy and love and peace…I allow others to be free. I forgive myself and I forgive them. And so it is.”
I want to leave you with this quote: “as long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind.” Isabelle Holland.
I am available for one to one coaching and speaking. Contact me at: tanya@tanyabrown.net
HUGS – Because Everyone Needs Them
Coach T